ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
