did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
