yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize