I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
