Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
it's like heaven, but drunker
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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