Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
