I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
