There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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