I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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