First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
