Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The best revenge is premature balding
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize