he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
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