You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize