I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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