Do vagina's smell?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
