i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
