I met the friendliest cop last night
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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