i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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