He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
