PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
