Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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