No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
