Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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