that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
