chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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