Whats the glycemic index on semen?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
