and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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