i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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