..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
