Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
