If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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