you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
