Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
