I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
