I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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