my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
