Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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