I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
