do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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