I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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