and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize