Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
