If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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