I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
