is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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