Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
