Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
