walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
