is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
