I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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