I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
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