im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I need water and some morals
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
