I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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