alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
either way he was missing a nipple.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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