You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
