well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
