what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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