Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
