On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Randomize
