He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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