I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
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