Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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