I love black thongs
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
