I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
