I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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