How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
