dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
