Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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