You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
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