Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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