I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
