Where is the hickey?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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