the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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