You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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