He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
