One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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