THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
