$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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