a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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