why didn't you poke me back
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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