6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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