Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
