No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
