Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
