I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
