someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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