Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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