yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
