I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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